S1E8 - Reclaiming Your Sovereignty
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[00:00:00] Doc Sibson: Welcome to Divergent Wisdom Broadcast, where curiosity reveals the endless aspects of convergence between science and spirituality. Join me, Doc Sibson, as we explore new perspectives with our guests, bridging the space between worlds to discover paradigm shifting common ground. It's time to get rebellious.
[00:00:31] Hello, Cosmic Family. I am so glad that you're here with me on Divergent Wisdom Broadcast today. And I wanted to take a moment before we jump into the episode to let you know that Luminosity, my mentorship program, is now live and open for your viewing and hopefully joining pleasure. So if you have appreciated the material that we've covered so far on the podcast and would like to learn more about how you can work with me in this tailored program, then head on over to the website, which is www.docsibson.com.au spelled D O C S I B S O N. And I look forward to seeing you there. Now onto our episode. Hello, fabulous humans, and welcome to Divergent Wisdom Broadcast. I am your host, Dr. Sarah Sibson, and today is the last episode of our season. And it feels a little strange to have somehow made it here. Uh, just is surreal, I think that is a very appropriate word, to have managed to get my butt in this seat enough times to create enough episodes that there is such a thing as a whole season. Because
[00:02:09] while I absolutely love it when I get here and I do it and I see what magical things fall out of my mouth, it can be a real test of my commitment to keep doing it because it is not a natural thing for me to record myself. So it has its own barriers as well as the whole ADHD " I've imagined it, and therefore it's already happened in my brain" scenario.
[00:02:50] And sometimes it can feel harder than others to actually do the thing that is something you love and want to see happen because in your mind, you've already moved on to the next thing that is shiny and exciting. So I would just like to take a little moment to pat myself on the back for getting this far and also to offer you a chance to pat yourself on the back if you are listening to this episode.
[00:03:24] And even if you haven't listened to the others, that's fine too. But being willing to look at these kinds of topics and think about stuff that, honestly, the vast majority of our population just wants to ignore is a pretty big accomplishment. So you also deserve the accolades for doing a hard thing and sticking with it.
[00:03:50] And also,
[00:03:52] hopefully, I'm not going to assume, doing maybe some of the stuff we talked about, implementing a tip or an approach here and there and seeing what has unfolded in your own life. So well done you. And I am really glad that you're here joining me again today, because today I want to talk about the really good juicy stuff, which is what I think of as Coronation Day.
[00:04:24] And the reason I call it that is because that's the day in my mind that it feels like you have unpeeled enough of these layers of shoulds and stories and troll BS and all the rest of it to get down to the really beautiful, true essence of you that's underneath it. And you're starting to see hints and glimmers of that you, and as you are moving towards that person and who you want to be, rather than who you just find yourself being, then there comes a time, often I think after the fact, where you realise that you've actually started to become that real you.
[00:05:18] And in my mind, it feels like that's the moment that you put your crown back on and you start to feel a bit more powerful to know who you are without all of that external noise and feel more able to identify that when you come up against challenges. And once you start to see those ripples of power turn up, then you feel more able to make the choice that you intend to when you come up against that resistance, and stay more
[00:06:00] in alignment with what you want to be and who you want to be, because you feel able to. And that is ultimately the goal of where we're headed with all this kind of stuff is to feel like you're able to do that more regularly, with less effort, and eventually have it become second nature. And then I would even say, take it a step further and have it become first nature.
[00:06:30] Have it become you, without having to think about it. And people can choose their own point where they feel like they have reclaimed that crown and put it back on their own head. And there's no one set point that that is officially happened, but I'd just like to have the visual of it and allowing yourself the moment to celebrate when you realise that it's happened. Whether or not it's as it's happening or after the fact when you're like, oh, wait, actually, I'm kind of a badass about that now.
[00:07:05] Then just sit in that feeling for a minute.
[00:07:10] Because I know we were talking about sitting in other feelings a little while ago, and mostly that was in reference to stuff that was unpleasant . So let me just highlight to you that it's also really important to sit in the good ones when they happen too.
[00:07:28] Don't know if it's that we don't experience them as often, or are unaware of experiencing them when they're happening when we're moving through that old haze of everyone else telling us who we are. But it feels like, as Spicy people, particularly Spicy women- I don't know if it's the same for the guys,
[00:07:54] you can tell me- we're really bad at celebrating when good stuff is happening. Feels like you're onto the next thing, onto the next achievement, onto the next goal or to-do list or thing for someone else or whatever it might be. And I want to really start at this point of celebration by encouraging you to actually celebrate.
[00:08:19] It's not selfish, it's not indulgent, or all the other words that might've been heaped onto that. And I'm not necessarily saying, you know, go out and buy something or throw a massive party. Sometimes it's simply just taking a moment, pausing, allowing your system to show you what it feels like when there's a good thing happening and running through it.
[00:08:50] And let that one ride its course, because I would gladly take 90 seconds of celebration over moving on to the next thing, if I can be aware that that's an opportunity for me to have. And sometimes in order to be able to do that, particularly for the big stuff, because, you know, it's still big, even if it's good big.
[00:09:11] Sometimes it takes practicing the smaller things. And being happy and joyful for things that feel safer to try it out on, that's totally fine. And that's really, I think, an element of what a gratitude practice is about. Finding the things, as small as they may be, throughout your day that you're grateful for, and spending time focusing on those.
[00:09:37] And it's taking it that next step, which most, I imagine, people who talk about gratitude practice will then go into is not only thinking about it, but feeling it, actually allowing that emotion of gratitude to happen too. So I'll encourage you to try it out, because even if you do nothing else, wouldn't it be cool to actually celebrate the good stuff, even if the hard stuff is still happening and we haven't looked at it?
[00:10:10] Seems like a bonus.
[00:10:12] So then if we are at that stage where enough of the noise and rubbish has been peeled back from other sources, and we've incorporated what parts of us we found in there that we don't want to keep using, then we get to that stage of feeling a bit uncertain, I think. I expect that that's a pretty universal experience of this.
[00:10:42] You get to a stage where it feels lighter and that's a good thing. But at the same time, it feels like there's not really much to hold on to. And it can feel precarious,
[00:10:55] and I imagine that will be a time where it's really tempting to just be taking a few steps back and maybe turning around and going back into some of the other stuff that, while it's not amazing, feels familiar and sturdy. And, hey, sure there are parts that I've done that with, can think of a few.
[00:11:19] So there's certainly no judgement, if that's the decision you make in the moment, totally get it.
[00:11:25] Because it feels weird. And we're not wired as human beings to tolerate uncertainty. Just in general, it's the evolutionary stuff we were talking about before, when it comes to categorising and trying to maintain your safety. It also is in our nature to want to try and predict, and understand and plan and anticipate what might happen next.
[00:11:57] And
[00:11:58] I am certainly very, very guilty of that. That is a really, really deeply ingrained part of me that I am still having to have discussions with very frequently, because that is a way of trying to control, and manipulate the outcomes that I want to try and create when in reality, it's the illusion of control that I am holding on really tight to.
[00:12:33] So it is not from a place of perfection that I am talking about this by any means. It is more an invitation to look at those times where you have felt really unsteady or uncertain and
[00:12:55] the sensation that that brought up in your system. That instinctual, really basic brain process kind of gut "pushing back against" that feeling that comes up. And the next time you notice it, now that you're aware, again, awareness helps, I would encourage you to think about why you started to feel that. What was it in the moments leading up to that experience that ended up in that uncertain feeling?
[00:13:31] And I expect a lot of the time it would be because you are embracing the new that's in you and the parts of you that you're wanting to explore and grow. And that is why you've ended up feeling like you're at the very, very edge of what you know. And that's a good reason to be there. Sometimes when you have that feeling, it is a true survival signal for you to turn around and go back.
[00:14:05] That is not, all the time is not a good thing. That's why I ask you to have a think about what led up to that moment and then whether or not you want to embrace it. Because if you find yourself at one of those edges of
[00:14:22] not knowing what's next. And it's because you are deciding to take that step as the person that you're choosing to be, as opposed to the old patterns, then that's a really good reason to step across that line and find out what's on the other side.
[00:14:43] It is not automatic. It is not instinctual to do those things. So unfortunately, even after all of the effort and thinking and feeling and being differently that it took to get there, it still takes some work to keep going. But once you get used to that sensation, then it's not quite as hard to take that step, knowing that last time you did it, you discovered hopefully something fun, something interesting, something curious, something informative, and that this new time could be that too.
[00:15:27] It's not always going to be a step in a direction that you want to keep going. I wish, wish I could offer you a way to take those kinds of steps. And if I knew how, then amazing, I would be doing it myself, but haven't quite gotten there yet. And
[00:15:47] that potential is scary enough for some people that they choose not to do it. And I understand because it's asking for two really big things. Really massive things, if you think about it. It's asking for change, which most of us are not really accustomed to and don't seek out and do not enjoy, particularly if that's the kind of spice your brain is.
[00:16:20] A lot of people that really, really, really, really hate change and I totally understand it. So that's one element. And then it's also the element of changing and not having any certainty about what you're changing for or towards or becoming. So change without any guarantees.
[00:16:44] I can see why that's a pretty tough pill to swallow.
[00:16:47] It can be really hard to convince anybody that that's a good idea purely by talking about it or saying that it is. It is often something that somebody needs to experience for themselves to have the actual moment presented, make the decision to do it, have the experience of the thoughts and the feelings and everything that comes with it as you move through that, and getting to the other side of that uncertain result and seeing how it all plays out.
[00:17:23] And not necessarily thriving always when you're doing that, particularly when it's new, but just seeing that you survived it, you managed to make a change without any guaranteed outcome. And you came out the other side with hopefully minimal damage. I would love to say that that was always the case, but just depends on which of those uncertain moments of change you decide to lean into as to what happens.
[00:17:55] And, having done that at least once, that personal experience of surviving it is fuel to do it again.
[00:18:05] It may take a lot of convincing and cajoling and negotiating and promising to yourself about taking that step when you reach that point, in order for you to actually do it. And that's okay. It's not like you have to leap in with no hesitation. There's not rules about that. Whatever it takes to be able to have the experience so that you have the wisdom that you gain from it, to be able to try again.
[00:18:38] And sometimes that doesn't happen super often. Because that's where you are and where you want to be with your process of all of this. And other times you see a result that you like so much that you're willing to give it another go and another, and discover that you're living pretty close to the edge a lot of the time. And discovering all kinds of things that you would not have had the benefit of having the joy and the sorrow and the
[00:19:15] opportunity to experience were you not living so close to the edge. Wherever you fall along that spectrum of risk and risk aversion and uncertainty aversion and change aversion, that is all totally fine and totally normal. And something that you get to decide as well. There's no right answer.
[00:19:40] But if you have made your way this far in this podcast season and listened to all of the discussions around ways that we can make change in our experience, then this is the culmination of those things. To truly live out the benefits of that work, it's likely to take some saying yes at this point in the process, whatever that looks like for you.
[00:20:09] The other thing I will say about this is that it can be easier to say yes to change and yes to uncertainty, when you have a better understanding of who you are and who you want to be moving forward. So that moment that we're talking about of coronation and reclaiming your identity and the power that comes from that-
[00:20:38] it also is bolstered by you choosing, consciously, things that are important to you, about you, and for you, so that you can lean on those as you move forward. And it can be tough to decide and try out those elements of the new you, because it can feel pretty unfamiliar. That's the whole uncertainty thing, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised
[00:21:11] when you pause without all of the distraction and all of the false layers of things that you have believed about yourself, that there will be a very solid, very familiar, very safe and easy to trust part of yourself under all of that. There will be strengths that have carried you through this whole process and all of the days and years before it, before you were able to start looking at any of the things that were in the way.
[00:21:52] And there will be some core values and beliefs that you have retained that were always you. It may just be that we needed to understand the other modifiers, things that were changing, how we looked at them, to get down to the real perspective of it and the real truth for you. So it's not that everything's gone, that everything is a complete reset.
[00:22:21] There will be parts of you that are genuine, and remain underneath, that we then get to flow our attention and effort and
[00:22:35] joy in discovering them again so that they can grow. And I would say the thing that helped me a lot at that stage is to just play a little bit again. Instead of being so serious, instead of being so burdened by all of this really big hefty stuff that it takes to get there, that's a moment where it feels like you can really enjoy yourself.
[00:23:02] And, those passions that have been in there the whole time, that maybe haven't had the opportunity to see the light of day in a long time. You can start doing those again, or find new ones that are related. I think the value of play and having fun just for the sake of having fun is extremely underrated.
[00:23:31] So whatever you find in there, when you turn in, when you've got that crown on.
[00:23:38] Don't keep doubting yourself.
[00:23:41] It can be really hard to do when essentially up to this stage, everything may have felt false or laden with falsehoods.
[00:23:51] So if you have suspected there's a crown hanging around that you put on your head, then that is the other hint that it's time to start believing in yourself again, too.
[00:24:04] That is another thing that people can help you with.
[00:24:09] If you have a trusted person or persons, talk to them about the parts that you really feel are yours and the ones that you want to expand on and nourish so that when you start to doubt yourself, because chances are it's going to happen, then they can help you remember. And it will be with love and will be from you,
[00:24:34] as a reminder to you, from someone that's there to help.
[00:24:38] So I think that's an excellent point to wrap up with today. And I want to say again, how glad I am that you have joined me for this season of Divergent Wisdom Broadcast and all of the rambling discussions of really important, sometimes difficult, and
[00:25:04] I think raw, raw would be a good descriptor. Thanks for riding it out through the bumps of me doing my thing, and bearing my soul to the internet and the airwaves in service of sharing the things that I have learned in the hopes that other people will find them useful and able to see some benefit in their own world from learning what they have here.
[00:25:35] So thank you. I am very much looking forward to sharing the next season with you, which will take on a life of its own, I'm sure, between me recording this and when it hits your ears. So I will not try and predict that future. If you are intrigued to see what ends up shaking out, then I welcome you to join us again next time.
[00:26:02] Thank you for expanding with us on Divergent Wisdom Broadcast. We deeply appreciate the contribution of your time and attention to our shared adventure. If today's discussion resonated with you, we'd love to hear your thoughts, revelations, and experiences in the comments. Please take a moment to subscribe and share us with your cosmic crew.
[00:26:29] And remember, We're all made of the same stardust.
