S1E5
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[00:00:00] Doc Sibson: Welcome to Divergent Wisdom Broadcast, where curiosity reveals the endless aspects of convergence between science and spirituality. Join me, Doc Sibson, as we explore new perspectives with our guests, bridging the space between worlds to discover paradigm shifting common ground. It's time to get rebellious.
[00:00:31] Hello, Cosmic Family, and welcome to today's episode. I'm excited to have you here with me again today. And after the way the past few weeks have unfolded, it has become readily apparent to me that this first season is meant to be about us. Us spicy minded folks and how our experiences have shaped who we've become and how we can use those to better understand ourselves and redesign who we want to be moving forward.
[00:01:18] So my plans are still moving ahead to have fantastic, interesting, rebellious conversations with other incredible humans and to share those with you here. But that will evolve as it wants to, which is, uh, not exactly as I thought. And I expect that that will become season two, is where it's headed and a new chapter, where we can focus on those conversations and all of the amazing insights and nuggies that they can offer for our continued development and understanding of ourselves and the realities that we move in.
[00:02:17] And it seems a little bit more sensible to have these different approaches and different types of episodes housed in separate seasons so that it's easier for people to understand the themes that they're getting into when they start listening to a particular collection. So. If you are holding out for those other episodes with my guests, then please do not lose heart.
[00:02:48] They are still coming. And it's just in that curly kind of way that it takes to get there sometimes, but I promise that you will not miss out. It is just a slight extension of our timeline. So, please do hang in there. And for those of you who are here for this, then - amazing! Because I am so glad that you are invested in yourself and you're turning up to listen to me ramble about things because that's how it tends to come out. And that you haven't been scared off by the consideration of
[00:03:37] how difficult some elements of this might be in your own life, because that's pretty understandable. We're talking about some big, heavy stuff here, and it's not run of the mill, try it out a few times and discover that it's your new habit. It's the things that you need to work at. And, Just depends on where you find yourself when you're sitting down to listen slash watch, and how doable that all sounds, and that can change from day to day.
[00:04:15] I know today, for me, sitting down here and sharing this space with you has felt like there were a whole bunch of extra hurdles in the way compared to other times. And it was a really good opportunity for me to come back around and look at all my stuff again, because it does never, ever end. And anytime that I personally find things don't go to my imagined plan is when I very easily slip back into old habits with the stories that we talked about, or the beliefs that they create in us, the thoughts that run through our minds on our little filthy trolls' continuous repeat of criticism.
[00:05:17] And the ways that those elements influence how we behave, how I behave. And it's actually a really good lesson for me in the ongoing need to pay attention to this and continue to not only practice, but. improve your approach to being more of yourself, but it was a great kind of collection of experiences to really frame this discussion for me today, which is the concept of self identity. How you see yourself, how you categorise and label your own concept of who you are. And what that beautiful tapestry looks like to you is, not surprisingly, very strongly influenced by all of those other things that we've talked about, and it can be quite a distorted.
[00:06:32] Image of who you are, and not necessarily a valid image of who you are, if you are creating it from all of those other inputs that aren't necessarily true. They're inputs that have hung around out of necessity, out of habit, out of being unaware that they exist. And they, along with some other elements of your experience of life, are what you use to create your identity.
[00:07:06] And again, it's one of those things that if you don't ever consciously hone in and look at it with intent, then it gets populated automatically from all of those other sources. And you can end up with a really inaccurate and
[00:07:27] limiting and
[00:07:30] harmful, actually- harmful concept of who you are and what you believe about yourself and what you consider to be parts of your identity. So this discussion, above anything else, is a way for us to bring that up out of the subconscious and into your awareness for you to start thinking about where you're starting from.
[00:07:59] How do you classify yourself? How do you identify yourself in any given system of labeling, and trying to understand and just
[00:08:13] get a concept of
[00:08:17] That's how it's so easy to fall into the othering when it comes to us and other people, or how we relate to other people, is because of that natural inclination that we talked about last time of systematising and categorising and labeling as a function of our, all of our brains due to its evolutionary advantage when you're making split decisions on a plane somewhere and scanning for predators that will eat you alive- really relevant.
[00:08:56] But when we're coming down to the nuances of our modern life, those habits and wirings of human brains mean that we categorise and categorise and label and put into boxes, and it's a thing that continues when it comes to ourselves. So it's not simply how your external world inputs come in, it is also how your own internal processes want to approach your concept of you as well.
[00:09:36] So when you take a closer look at some of those decisions that you've internally made when it comes to you, it can be really interesting to see what you find there. And I can say from personal experience, it is such a good idea to have this conversation with yourself before you're forced to in a really rude way.
[00:10:06] If you have hung your entire self identity on a job, for instance- gee wonder why I use that one as an example- then, if that job disappears or changes drastically in a way that you didn't anticipate, then not only is it a job changing, it is something that you have defined yourself as and by that is changing, that is outside of your control, that really, really shakes you up.
[00:10:45] So may I suggest that if you do nothing more than just get curious and figure out what your identity is created out of, just so you're aware that that might happen, even that's an improvement to being blindsided. So, job and job titles and professions and qualifications, and things in that space are one of many, many, many ways that we identify ourselves.
[00:11:21] Your physical appearance and all of the different ways that that gets fragmented down into smaller pieces and categorised. You know, your hair color, your eye color, the shape of your face, whether or not you wear glasses, whether or not you have dimples- the list goes on. There's also ways that you have a concept of who you are in relation to other people.
[00:11:50] So it's the labels and concepts of being a child or a sibling or a spouse or a parent, a grandchild, a friend, a partner- any number of relational titles- and not only the title, but then what that experience has been like for you and what that means about what that word translates to. So my understanding of myself as a sister is going to be extremely different to someone else who identifies as a sister because their life as a sister has been different.
[00:12:36] And this part can be really, really hard to
[00:12:43] decide, determine where that line is because relationally, as humans, that is the core of who we are. Us and our other humans on this planet have evolved together, so that we are connected at a very core, basic level that is intertwined in all of us. You in isolation without those labels of how you relate to others and having that define your identity, identity is,
[00:13:24] I personally don't think possible. I'm willing to be proven wrong. Totally fine. I'm not sure on that one. But in my understanding of why we're here, it is to have an individual experience of life from a particular, unique viewpoint and set of ways that that can unfold, but the way that that is experienced is by
[00:13:58] interacting with the things that are outside of us. So at least in this reality, there is no way to have a life and have an existence that doesn't somehow relate to our experience of what happens outside of us.
[00:14:18] So, I think when it comes to those identity components that we incorporate into our concept of who we are, as they relate to other people, are probably the hardest to unpack.
[00:14:32] But just because you keep a category or a label as part of your identity, you don't necessarily have to keep the things that have been associated with that over time. So being a sister is a real blessing. I completely adore having a brother and it was different when I was younger and when we were younger to what it is now.
[00:14:57] The identity has changed over time as we've changed and our experiences of life have changed. So that is just to say that the label may stay, but your understanding of it is allowed to be different. And particularly if any of these labels- related to humans or not- have been created from unconscious input.
[00:15:26] So as we're going through all of these stages of looking at our stories, and our thoughts, and the beliefs that they create, and picking apart the stuff that we don't want to take with us anymore, then if those are linked into concepts about ourselves- stuff that is, or used to be core to your identity- then that doesn't mean the entire identity needs to disappear.
[00:15:54] It just means it gets to be re-imagined, and re-imagined in the new frame of references that are coming in, that you're creating. This could get very convoluted if I spend too much time diving down that rabbit hole! But what I would like to say is that your
[00:16:16] components that make up you certainly are informed by your experiences, and those experiences very frequently include other beings, but as I have said many a time, in many a context- you get to decide. All of this is talking about you and
[00:16:39] the ways that you experience your life. And that is a one human kind of decision. So, it can be a very challenging thing to do by yourself. And it's not to say that you can't speak to other people, get help along the way as you're doing it. That's absolutely not what I'm saying. Actually, I think that is the way that this can be done
[00:17:07] with less hiccups. I'm not going to say none because that's, I think, delusional. But please do,
[00:17:18] if you have people that you can trust, trust them with these parts of you that you're discovering, including the parts that end up getting tossed out. If you are fortunate enough to have a person like that in your life, then I know from my own experience of people trusting me that way, that it's a real honour and a privilege to share that
[00:17:49] adventure as they get to start playing in a space that feels like them and watching how incredible and invigorating it can be as they move into spaces and mindsets and choices that are really genuine and heartfelt. I know from my own experience how that can feel, so witnessing it in someone else is truly beautiful.
[00:18:23] And I know that that can be one of the hardest parts of this process. I mean, we're all kind of used to being stuck in our heads, right? And thinking about stuff a million times over and having that conversation with Yours Truly, but not bringing anyone else into the fold- which is all part of that self sacrifice pattern that I suspect is running through you if you're still hanging out with me.
[00:18:53] Cause that's definitely an oldie, but a goodie in this system.
[00:18:57] The inclination with that habit is to do it all yourself and not ask for help. And while no one can help you determine who you are, they can certainly support you as you do it. And it's okay to ask them to do that, too. I've discovered that people want to help you and enjoy it and you'd be surprised what the universe will create for you and for the people in your lives, to benefit everyone in that scenario.
[00:19:36] So, don't avoid it, I guess is the long and the short of that, in this whole process of determining your identity.
[00:19:46] I don't think I can quite say I'm someone who asks for help reliably yet. But, I like that I'm getting better at it. And, I like that I am someone that is able to accept help now. Which is a pretty big change. So, if that's something that gets incorporated into your new identity as you're deciding it, then twinsies, we can support each other in practicing doing that.
[00:20:20] I also would invite you to consider working with me in a more formal capacity outside of this rambling monologue scenario that we find ourselves in. And I would absolutely be honored to be one of the people that you entrust with walking beside you as you go through that process yourself. So, I will leave you with that parting consideration, and I would love to hear any elements about yourself that you have
[00:21:01] discovered are part of your identity that you're excited to keep and embellish and enrich. And also the ones that you're super ready to be done with, feel free to share those too, because then once they're out and visible, it gets easier and easier to put them in the bin. So feel free to share in the comments, or if it feels a little bit too exposed, then feel free to send us ah something more private, talking about your progress, because I would love to hear how you're doing.
[00:21:40] So until next time, I'm sending you all the love and stardust.
[00:21:46] Thank you for expanding with us on Divergent Wisdom Broadcast. We deeply appreciate the contribution of your time and attention to our shared adventure. If today's discussion resonated with you, we'd love to hear your thoughts, revelations, and experiences in the comments. Please take a moment to subscribe and share us with your cosmic crew.
[00:22:11] And remember, We're all made of the same stardust.
