DWB02 Free Your Joy from Story Prison
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[00:00:00]
Hello, beautiful souls. And welcome to today's episode of Divergent Wisdom Broadcast. I am your host, Dr. Sarah Sibson. And today is a solo episode where I'm going to be talking to you guys about stories. And stories in the context of the stories we [00:01:00] get told. , from all of our experience in the world. And
this is applicable to everybody.
Every single human. We all are fed others' perceptions of reality and incorporate them for ourselves. But my heart is always with the neurodivergent brains that are moving through this world, and have that extra layer of
filtering and difference. And
that can really seep into every single cell of your body as you go through your experience of Earth School.
So. Please feel free to take to heart any of what I have to say if you don't identify as neurodivergent- you're so, so welcome here, and I'm glad that [00:02:00] you are. But this is for my Spicy brain peeps. I see you and I am so looking forward to sharing some of the understandings that I've gained over time about how all of these things are incorporated into our experience of life.
So. Let's jump in and start talking about the bullshit that we have just been seeped in since the moment that we first arrived. Which is the concept that the way other people, and systems, and structures, and environments um see and define our world and our experience, um, The concept that that is automatically and supposed to be your truth. [00:03:00] But
hopefully, if you're here and you're listening to this, you know that everyone's truth is their own. And
if you don't know that yet, I hope that you can feel that is true for you at some point soon. So.
The stories that
we get told cover so many different perspectives and areas of our lives that
it is nearly impossible, unless you're being really mindful about it, to even pick up that it's happening. It takes the awareness, the opportunity, an event, something that really highlights it for you, and brings it into your awareness, to show you that just because someone is telling you this story about yourself, that doesn't necessarily make it true. I know it's crazy, right?! [00:04:00]
So.
For example.
For most of the NeuroSpicy kids we turn up at school having had whatever family experience we had, and get dumped into a system that is really not designed for us. So.
You come from whatever perspective you started from at home. And then, probably pretty much instantaneously, get told that whatever your perspective, your belief, your concept of yourself or how things might work for you, is not true. Or
even further, I would say is wrong. There's a difference, I think. A very fine one, but there's the I don't believe you versus no, that's actually really wrong and the opposite of what is true. So,
the way to do, I don't know, [00:05:00] simple arithmetic. The way to compose a story that you might want to tell. The way that
you exist in your body throughout the day. There are so many neurodivergent kids that learn and incorporate information best when they're moving.
And we all know that classrooms are designed to sit butts in seats, and stay still, and be taught, and do the thing.
So,
I mean, I could go on forever about what stories you might or might not have heard in your life, but the
core of what I'm getting at is that
it continues on. And
until we get to the point where we are creating a world that doesn't do that, then that's probably been everyone's experience.
It can take a long, long time [00:06:00] to get to a stage where you
actually start recognizing that all of the external inputs that you experience are not necessarily things that you need to take onboard. Things that you need to agree with. Things that you need to
believe in, and keep telling yourself, time after time, when you end up in situations that you remind you of those stories again. And
even once you have had that moment where you get to realize that all of those things aren't always true for you, it can be really, really hard to stop investing in them- even once you know that that's what's happening. Because maybe you're 30, maybe you're 50, maybe you're 70 when the first moment happens that you realize that you [00:07:00] don't have to do that anymore. And that is a very, very long time to move through your life in a way. And then all of a sudden, overnight, you're going to stop doing it? I wish. If you do, please let me know how that worked, because I would love to be able to share it. But most of us are going to take a whole hell of a lot of practice to get out of those systems and start deciding what gets to stay. Because some of it might be valid.
Some of it might be right for you. But the difference is you get to think about it and you get to choose. It's not everything is automatically incorporated, everything is automatically played on repeat in your system. Everything is definitely not
something that you should be beating yourself up with. [00:08:00] Because, chances are almost every theme of those stories coming into your
awareness is going to be
flavored, at least sprinkled, with negativity and criticism. And not enoughness. And failure. And incapacity, inability to meet expectations, to do things the way people expect you to.
And when those are the inputs, moment after moment after moment,
where is there going to be space for things that build you up?
Probably not going to be any.
That's why it's so, so important to even have that first aha moment- that stories are stories.
They don't automatically get to be truth.
You, as an individual, with a [00:09:00] beautiful, unique,
incredible way of looking at the world, get to decide what is true for you. Particularly about yourself.
Please do not
let other people define who you are. And I know it's so easy to say this. And the reality of living it is something that probably feels insurmountable.
And overwhelming.
And
completely foreign, to even consider that you might decide your own definitions of truth.
But I hope you can see that it's worthwhile. And I hope that you can find a part of yourself that has
enough strength left after putting up with all of that crap to start looking at what you want to be true for you.
So.
I could go on and on and on about [00:10:00] this- I can go on about most things, you might've noticed- but this one in particular. Because
it's such a foundational element for every single person.
And it is something that
may not have been intentional, most of the time.
But
just this existence- you know, Earth School, as I've heard it called so many times- it's a real jerk.
It's not easy. And sometimes it is actually designed to keep us down,
because it benefits someone else. So while, you know, someone else's motivations are their own. There's no way to truly know what that is.
Just that element of it really gets me fired up. So
if any part of you feels ready to start looking at this, please do. I know it's going to be a big thing, [00:11:00] but it's going to be so, so worth it. So worth it.
Because when you start defining your truth- who you are -by your own terms, then that frees up so much more space in everything. In time. In your thoughts. In your physical body.
The way you do everything throughout the day can be different.
The way you just are, without doing. Cause there's another story for you.
You don't have to do a single thing to be worthy. And to be valued. And to be loved.
You just have to be here.
And I'm very glad that you are. So.
If you're one of the people listening that feels ready to [00:12:00] start looking at the shitty stories In your life, then I'd like to offer you an approach that I found helpful for myself and
hopefully it is something that you feel able to incorporate as you start looking at this as well. So,
the key thing, particularly when something is so habitual, is going to be noticing and catching it. And
when it comes to stories, I have found that a lot of times there's a should in the story. So for example: You're getting ready to leave in the morning to head to work, head to whatever your commitments are, and
you're running behind.
Don't know why I'd give that as an example, I'm always on time.
The
[00:13:00] stress of feeling that pressure is a key time for a story to turn up. So some of the ones that I am sure I played on repeat in that scenario would be: You should have been ready sooner. You should have gotten up when your alarm went off. You should have done something else last night to make it easier in the morning.
You should have prepared, I don't know, your lunch so that you could walk out easier without having to do that. You should have taken the garbage out and now you've done it in the morning and now you're late. Like, it goes on and on, right? So.
Anytime a should is there, chances are it's a story.
And the other [00:14:00] times that really stand out are the just
moments: Why can't you just
stay on schedule? Why can't you just get out of the house on time? Why can't you just be more organized? Why can't you just,
you know, whatever crap you tell yourself.
So. I invite you to pause in those moments where you're feeling overwhelmed, upset, stressed, angry, frustrated-
anything that doesn't feel good- and just inspect the thoughts that are happening. What are they telling you? What are those stories that you're playing? Do they have shoulds in them? Do they have justs in them? Because chances are, they are someone else's stories that have crept into [00:15:00] your system and become yours.
So. When you spot them, that is the first part of the battle.
And you're probably going to be surprised how many damn times a day it happens.
Innumerable, I would guess.
It's really insidious. So,
I would also offer a warning. Be prepared to be confronted by how pervasive it is, and how horrible you are to yourself because of it.
And that can really hurt.
Because it's not the person that initially instilled those things, or the environment that did any more, it is you investing in them again and again.
And keeping on using them against yourself.
Which feels even worse, I [00:16:00] think.
So.
Be brave.
Be courageous.
Do actually do it. I know I've just made it sound horrible,
and Not very appealing! But I promise it is worth it on the other side of it. Once you start identifying the stories, then you get to start getting rid of them. And that is so good. 'Cause then you don't have to put up with that crap anymore. You can get to decide what stays.
And you get to be nicer to yourself.
And that is fucking incredible.
So please,
take a risk. It's worth it.
And I hope that
it's the starting point for you to do a whole bunch more too. Because I know you've got it in you. Made it this [00:17:00] far
as a Spicy, or not spicy, person in this challenging experience of life. And you're still here. You're still engaged enough to be listening to me ramble on for however long.
And you still have a little bit of grit in you left. And I would be so, so happy for you if it was invested into making a change that is going to be absolutely transformative for you.
So I hope that's how you choose to use it.
I will wrap up my thoughts on all of this at that stage. And I really hope you have found some nuggets in there that are useful for you, and are looking forward to incorporating. Because that's the part that I would love to hear about. So if you [00:18:00] implement any of these concepts or inspect some shoulds In your life, or some justs, and you are happy to share with us,
I would absolutely love to hear about how it goes. So. Please, let us know- so that we can all celebrate with you. And cheer you on.
